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1. |
The Hand
03:35
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Hands gripped tight. State line in sight. In the backseat is all that I own: an old set of sheets, dusty LPs, a bruised and confused sense of home. Wait, don’t wait. I ain’t tempting fate. I’ll turn a blind eye to where I once fell. I need to find the right meter and rhyme to get myself out of this hell. Wait I hear Eurydice, my dear, but a Siren’s is a hollow farewell. “Please don’t wait” I hear Orpheus say. “If you turn back you’re under her spell.” So tonight I’ll just drive down I-75 and wave goodbye to the hand I once held. The Midwest is kind but the faithful are blind. The fact is that one day we’re all doomed. I crossed that state line and stole a look behind. In a glance I was entranced and entombed. Wait, don’t wait. I ain’t tempting fate. I’ll turn a blind eye to where I once fell. I need to find the right meter and rhyme to climb myself out of this hell. Wait I hear Eurydice, my dear, but a Siren’s is a hollow farewell. “Please don’t wait” I hear Orpheus say. “If you turn back you’re under her spell.” So tonight I’ll just drive down I-75 and wave goodbye to the hand I once held. Object in this mirror are closer than they appear. Wait, don’t wait. I ain’t tempting fate. I’ll turn a blind eye to where I once fell. I need to find the right meter and rhyme to get myself out of this hell. I hear Eurydice, my dear, it’s time I said, “so long, fare thee well.” I promised my hand. Yours you withheld; a snake charmer who’s armor I felled. So tonight I’ll just drive down I-75 and wave goodbye to the hand I once held.
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2. |
Crooked Mississippi
04:30
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As I begged the sun to rise through Queen Anne’s Lace and county lines, I walked that night justified. In my found complacency, in candlelit window seats, a moth drawn by Hades’ deceit. It has never been clear to me so I implore Persephone, all this for a pomegranate seed? In spring you bring a song to sing and set one and all up for the fall. Is this what we really need? Oh dear Saint Anthony sing a wrinkled prayer for me. Am I the king or the fool? I’ve made a chorus hall from strip malls to rest stop stalls, a stasis from faces so cruel. There’s nothing that’s quite as clear as agriculture grids, my dear, all awash and glittering in gold. At least there’s some color here, the hue of Harvest and veneer. I watch from way up above. And I’m far from home beneath all these street signs I know. This path meandering is as crooked as the Mississippi. I cannot slow this high tide in my soul. Like you could not stay those horses black as coal. And we know we’re lost. Because I’m far from home beneath all these street signs I know. This path meandering is as crooked as the Mississippi.
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3. |
Juliet
04:06
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Juliet, what are you doing here? I planned a year or two in the dark before you. Juliet, what are you trying to say? Oh, the Mona Lisa smile is not fair in the cold and damp midnight air. The Mona Lisa smile is not fair anyway. Let’s go walk down by the River and wash away our sins and scars. Then we’ll know this life and love we make is truly ours. Until then I’m tilting glasses and sneaking glances in crowed rooms. Oh, Juliet, oh why’d you come so soon? Juliet, why did you have to come home? I was doing fine here on my own I’ll have you know. Juliet, what are you doing to me? Oh, the plans so certain it seems are now as empty as your eyes are green. Oh, the plans so certain it seems are gone. Let’s go walk down by the River and wash away our sins and scars. Then we’ll know this life and love we make is truly ours. Until then I’m tilting glasses and sneaking glances in crowed rooms. Oh, Juliet, oh why’d you come so soon? Let’s go walk down by the River and wash away our sins and scars. Then we’ll know this life and love we make is truly ours. Until then I’m tilting glasses and sneaking glances in crowed bars. Oh, Juliet, oh why’d you come so soon? Juliet, please forget me. If we were right then I was wrong all along. Juliet, please forgive me. I won’t forget or regret, but I’ll flee.
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4. |
California
03:36
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When I was younger I saw tempers raised and vows exchanged. When I was younger I saw you. And I knew that I would get to California if I never trusted any one of you. When I was younger I heard “go to your room” and wooden spoons. When I was younger I heard you. And I knew that I would get to California if I never trusted any one of you. If I never trusted any one of you. At twenty-five I have finally come alive and I’ll hold on to what’s in me, the flaws and beauty of my song that I’ve kept inside for so long. Oh, the road is long but the breeze is strong. And it’s westward on. When I was younger I felt joy and pain out in the rain. When I was younger I felt you. And I knew that I would get to California if I never trusted any one of you. When I was younger I lost the love of my life not once but twice. When I was younger I lost you. And I knew that I would get to California if I never trusted any one of you. If I never trusted any one of you. At twenty-five I have finally come alive and I’ll hold on to what’s in my the flawed beauty of my song that I’ve kept undefined for so long. Oh, the road is long but the breeze is strong. It’s westward on. I never trusted you. Now I’m gone on my way.
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5. |
The Scarecrow's Lament
03:28
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Here I am now propped up strong. I’m a painted-face guard over hidden fields I’ve sown for so long. You know that I found god in the lies I told. Another hard fought hidden secret sold. When I ran away from home I met that girl Maria by the road. She said I’m just a sinner in a saint’s clothing. Lacking grace but saving face or trying. With these words I wrote each night I choke on my manufactured reality. With these words of mine spoken through lips sown with twine, I hope that you don’t believe me. Yeah, I’ve heard the Siren’s call. She’s never satisfied until I fall. Well that dark-haired thief left me stranded by the reef but she never took anything I need. When the crows came a circling drawn by the blood on the fare thee west Zephyr wind. She promised me heaven but I dragged myself through hell. Another scar for show and tell. With these words I wrote each night I choke on my manufactured reality. With these words of mine spoken through lips stitched with twine, I hope that you don’t believe me. I pound this wind torn canvas breastbone. I swear what beats inside is real and yours to own. If I had but knees I’d run home to say, “Please. Please know that these vivisected limbs oh no, they’re not me.” With these words I wrote I hope you know that there’s just straw ‘neath this hat.
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6. |
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Darling, put that old dress on. Let’s not give a damn. Let’s let that old rusty screen door slam. We’ll push that county line then we’ll be gone. We’ve waited on this light so long. Bless me Union, bless me State, I can’t wait to find a seedy bar where we don’t belong. So don’t go chasing those ghosts just yet. I’ll get you home and then we’ll make a bet. We’ll see how long you can ignore these glances of mine. I just won so baby pour some wine. You’re asking what I’m falling for. I’ll sing you this little song here at a quarter to four. You know I always think much clearer when I hear her that coming Dawn. Now you’re asking what it feels like to fall. I think you should ask the leaves beneath the orchard wall. Just let me hold you tight for at least another night. The sun steals rooftops from the dark as we lie awake, drunk on Fate, please heart don’t break. Deceive my eyes and tell me that’s no lark. Your fingertips emit a spark. So tell the sun to flee. For you and me those nightingales sing free to tell the world of how we left our mark. So don’t go chasing those ghosts just yet. I’ll get you home and we’ll make a bet. We’ll see how long you can ignore these glances of mine. I just won so baby pour some wine. You’re asking what I’m falling for. I’ll sing you this little song here at a quarter to four. You know I always think much clearer when I hear her that coming Dawn. Now you’re asking what it feels like to fall. I think you should ask the leaves beneath the orchard wall. Just let me hold you tight for at least another night.
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7. |
Sepia
05:46
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This match won’t last long enough to catch the flickering swell and diving crash of your eyelash. As we swoon in this room, our plume of phosphor and sweet perfume. You are the fleetingness of grace gone too soon. We should have known. This apple that we’ve sown. We should have kept those damn clothes on. No spark to impart all of our fumbling in the dark. Down the hall the radio plays with a sadness so stark. Sinking still from a swill. Just let the Maenads get their fill. Man’s folly, I’ve been told, is a bitter pill. We should have known. This apple that we’ve sown. We should have kept those damn clothes on. Lock the door. This hue. The incandescent vestige that’s you. We both know there’s no black or white in this sepia night. Oh no. I’ve got to go before this heart and head explode. Before the light exposes our tongues and your rose lips; a polaroid of lovers’ poses. Oh no. I can’t go. Should we stop? Girl, please say “no.” ‘Cause you’ve got those eyes like shutters capturing the rapturing as I mutter. The door. This hue. The incandescent vestige that’s you. We both know to keep those damn clothes on. We should have known. This apple that we’ve sown. We should have kept those damn clothes on. Lock the door. This hue. The incandescent vestige that’s you. We both know there’s no black or white in this sepia night.
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8. |
Song For The Damned
03:08
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I’ve been pounding these feet for years through dead-end towns. But lotus leaves and a one-eyed thief are all I’ve found. He said, “Son, just fall in line and you’ll be fine. Though Circe promised dreams of gold now they’re just swine.” Don’t sing me a song for the damned. I’ll take anything but idleness from these goddamned hands. You know I’ll embrace the disgrace I’ve spun. A weathered face left too long in the sun. We both know I’m far from done. One night I went downtown to meet a friend of mine. He said, “follow the brightest lights to the county line.” But from the juke box came a Siren song of our yesterdays. He pushed me out naked as night lest I stay. Don’t sing me a song for the damned. I’ll take anything but idleness from these goddamned hands. You know I’ll embrace the disgrace I’ve spun. A weathered face left too long in the sun. We both know I’m far from done. I met this girl and with just one grin she tore me limb from limb. My seams Scylla shredded with ease. And in this Charybdis of a town I did nearly drown. But now, well fed, I’m in bed with a nymph that has taken this heart and head but I keep an eye to that eastern wind instead. Don’t sing me a song for the damned. I’ll take anything but idleness from these goddamned hands. You know I’ll embrace the disgrace I’ve spun. A weathered face left too long in the sun. We both know I’m far from done. Oh, these songs haven’t all been sung. One day I’ll cave or I’ll say I’ve won. We both know I’m far from done.
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9. |
Charity
03:20
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Heart, have you broken through and through? You see cracks in the vow that you once swore and that you once knew. And you know I’ve seen it too but there’s nothing I can do. Because it’s late I pray restraint. It’s so late I pray restraint. Charity, don’t buy me a diamond ring. Save your money for the boy whose songs we’ll sing. Charity, keep your diamond ring. I’m still waiting on the girl who can’t hold back spring. Eyes, stop right there. Let’s see those hands. You need heat to keep between them sheets to make amends for all that we have seen. Please girl sew up those seems. ‘Cause it’s late I pray restraint. It’s so late I pray restraint. Charity, don’t buy me a diamond ring. Save your money for the boy whose songs we’ll sing. Charity, keep your diamond ring. I’m still waiting on the girl who can’t hold back spring. I want to know whose hand holds Cupid’s arrow ‘cause I’ve got blood on mine. I need to go but I sure as hell won’t follow. ‘Cause I can’t wreck this now. I ain’t taken no vow. This hour deflowers our restraint. Charity, don’t buy me a diamond ring. Save your money for the boy whose songs we’ll sing. Charity, keep your diamond ring. I’m still waiting on the girl. Still waiting on the girl. Charity don’t buy me no diamond ring. You’re all wrong.
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10. |
Words Unspoken
04:46
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Darling sister are you awake? Just a few words before this heart breaks. The laurel leaves are starting to bloom and I’ll be on that train soon. And you know I’m not one to talk with much grace but believe me you’re as rich as the soil and as elegant as lace. These words unspoken fall to the ground like souvenirs when the fair has left town. Words unspoken they ripped and they tore. Sister, forgive me for words unspoken and all that I meant I should have carved in the sidewalk cement. Words unspoken they flutter then fall. Sister, forgive me for it all. Dear old brother where have you been? Has that city taken you in? I’ve heard the light entrances with the allure of second chances. Now you know I’ve never been blessed with much charm but believe me we were thick as thieves, brothers in arms. These words unspoken fall to the ground like souvenirs when the fair has left town. Words unspoken they ripped and they tore. Brother, forgive me for…These words unspoken fall to the ground like souvenirs when the fair has left town. Words unspoken they ripped and they tore. Sister, forgive me for words unspoken and all that I meant I should have carved in the sidewalk cement. Words unspoken they flutter then fall. Brother, forgive me for it all. I had to run. Naked and flayed my stitching had all come undone. What had become of our little home, the place our hands built under sun? Bless me Apollo. The truth burns like fire on this liar’s lyre tonight. I had to run but I leave you this token, the words never spoken now sung. I had to run. The soles of my feet took to the street when that wind blew. But I’m not quite done until you understand how you’ve shaped this man through and through. Darling sister you taught me to smile. Dear old brother you silenced the wiles. All I want to do is say to you that…
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11. |
Songbird
04:00
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Hey little songbird where have you flown off to? It seems like three whole years since I’ve heard your tune. But late last night in a midnight fright it seems I met the little stout faced girl we had only in dreams. Patience, kindness, wide-eyed deftness, that’s what I’d give to her. A bit dramatic and a touch erratic with a hearty unending nerve. Little girl, we don’t have long before you’re gone. Little girl, to you my heart does belong. She’s got her mother’s eyes and all of my curls. And that smile that kills oh girl, that’s all yours. But late last night in a midnight fright it seems I told the little stout faced girl we had only in dreams. Patience, kindness, wide-eyed deftness, that’s what I’d give to you. A bit dramatic and a touch erratic with a nerve to follow through. Little girl, we don’t have long before you’re gone. Little girl, to you my heart does belong. For all those times that I wasn’t really around, please know that I’ve always been lost more than found. And all those traits that I cannot hope to impart, know they still reside deep in this fiery heart. Patience, kindness, wide-eyed deftness, that’s what I’d give to her. A bit dramatic and a touch erratic with a wild unending nerve. Little girl, we don’t have long before you’re gone. Little girl, to you my heart does belong.
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12. |
Phaethon
02:14
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Mama, there’s a whispering through the poplar trees. Their amber tears know whose hands are these that wander and squander their greatest deeds. Mama, there’s a whispering through the poplar trees. ‘Cause these roads are mine alone to choose. My heart is mine to find or lose. I’m not your bastard son as I’ll prove before I’m done. With a knowing eye I stare up at the sun. Father, just one thing of you I’d ask. Could you forsake to me your holy task? No, no, no, no, my resolve is held fast. Father, just one thing of you I’d ask. And when they bury me someday everyone will say, “though greatly he did fail, even greater is the tale that he dared to tell as he fell headfirst to hell.” ‘Cause we’re gonna burn. I want it all. Mama, don’t worry I ain’t got no wounds to dress. Father, believe me I did my best.
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13. |
Chasing Ghosts
04:21
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And I don’t know just where to begin. I’ve been tossed around town and been burned upside and down since then. And you standing there bathed in starlight. Oh, I lusted and I trusted the muse in that broken down night. And I know why. And I like fools before had found Cytherea in that dimly lit bar where we thinly gripped our hamartia. And you delicately feigning demure. Oh, how your saccharine skin and that sad, knowing grin did allure. And I know why. We were lost and ashamed. No, I never knew her name. We were young and two impassioned souls drawn to the flame. And I don’t know if I’m to blame. But I didn’t resist when your hands took my hips at our tryst. And on that creaky bedframe where we hung. Oh, your salty, sweet sweat painted your silhouette on my tongue. And I know why. We were lost and ashamed. No, I never knew her name. We were young and two impassioned souls drawn to the flame. When we awoke we were awash in littered clothes and stale smoke. We had dared that sun to rise. When it did we hid behind closed eyes. Now my mind reels. We could not outrun them furies on our heels. Of all the faults these sad bones play host the worst is a curse of chasing ghosts. We were lost and ashamed. No, I never knew her name. We were young and two impassioned souls drawn to the flame. That night’s exhaust still remains. I never knew if it was true or inane. My soul is wrung black and blue and I never will forget your name.
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14. |
Union Square
03:36
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Well you know that I was a little worse for the wear the night we walked down broad boulevards our words becoming New York air. I looked at my feet. I said, “I’m no good at this.” You said, “I don’t really care.” We rode the 6 around, up and down town, pretending we weren’t scared. We swept the park bench of snow and regret. Sharing scars and a cigarette. Union Square I swear to get there, just not yet. And that next night in Brooklyn where we broke in and down. I swear you had more charm in those Gatsby green eyes than in this old tourist town. You looked at your hands. “Did he just see us there?” I said, “I don’t really care.” Then you blushed, I rushed, “dear old barkeep, get us out of here!” We cleared the park bench of snow and regret. Sharing scars and a cigarette. Union Square I swear to get there, just not yet. I know we’ve been so damn far from home for much too long. “Home is just where you’re loved, a place where you belong…or so I’ve heard.” And you just laughed. I said, “hey, maybe I’m wrong.” You said, “cheers to being home all along.” Now I’m an airport vagrant crossing terminals to waste time. Reading books I don’t care a damn about, it’s you that’s on my mind. Departure signs are all lit up to go but I ain’t going home. Why am I always so fucking high when I’m so damn low? But just last night in Brooklyn where we should have raced the fire escapes and ran like hell from our company swell enough to practice their debates. Your eyes like fire when you asked my plans. You said, “hey, I’d understand…” I said, “stop right there. My cards. I’m showing my hand.” Union Square. I’ve got a burnt up matchbook and a hand full of dimes for the trial. Union Square. You got a ragged old dress and that Audrey Hepburn smile. It’ll have to do for a little while. And it’ll do for a little while.
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15. |
Marry Me, Mary
04:37
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I was young and naïve, just barely eighteen. Our love would last forever you had me believe. On a cold winter’s eve in a friend’s bed you took your leave. I showed up at three am on your doorstep to plea. Why won’t you marry me, Mary? Someday? Why won’t you marry me, Mary? Okay? Why won’t you marry me, Mary? What do you say? I showed up at three am but you tossed me away. Found me a girl, a dragon fierce and tall. We made ourselves a home. I got a ring and had it all. I was gorged under falls my heart shredded by your claws. Still down on one knee I started to sing. Why won’t you marry me, Mary? Someday? Why won’t you marry me, Mary? Okay? Why won’t you marry me, Mary? What do you say? Still down on one knee, the answer written on your face. God damn these plans. Best laid or not they broke and slipped through these hands. Just a charade. The marionette played this blind boy who took for love the forms that the shadows made. Can it be true? Did I love you? Or just your worn out shoes and my ill-advised romantic views? You’re a ghost, a criminal inside of my love-lusting mind. We met in that dive, sharing nights and a drink or two. Lonely eyes will wander and yours were bright blue. You showed me your scar and I said, “hey, I’ve got one too.” I ordered up another drink and thought hey girl, I love you. Why won’t you marry me, Mary? Someday? Why won’t you marry me, Mary? Okay? Why won’t you marry me, Mary? What do you say? I showed up at three am but you tossed me away. Still down on one knee, the answer written on your face. I got drunk late one night and lost what to say.
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16. |
Break Me
05:23
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Last night I awoke from a dream beneath the boughs of a laurel tree and from the dark came the Graces three. Splendor, Mirth, and Good Cheer said, “listen boy, you better hear. Go tell the world what’s happened here.” Came to a field that had been planted and plowed and thought hey mother have I made you proud? See how this trunk has not bent or bowed? And father have you shared sleepless nights searching window panes for a light? Just some sign we’re doing alright? You can’t break me. Dear Dionysus, sweet Aphrodite. I tire of the pyres I built and these tears that I spilt. You can’t save me. I alone hold the skeleton key. I know now what I need and it came for free. Across the field to a dragonfly. I thought about you battin’ them eyes. Sunflowers in autumn skies. Did his feet dance better in time? Did his ring glitter brighter than mine? “It’s alright” say the Graces, “you’re fine.” You can’t break me. Dear Dionysus, sweet Aphrodite. I tire of the pyres I built and these tears that I spilt. You can’t save me. I alone hold the skeleton key. I know now what I need and it came for free. You can’t break me. Dear Dionysus, sweet Aphrodite. With hands no greater than these I’ve planted them seeds. You can’t save me. I alone hold the goddamned key. What I need it don’t come cheap but it came for free. Oh me, oh my, I haven’t slept in my whole life. Oh me, oh my, another late night heavy sigh. Oh me, oh my, for all those times to myself I lied. Oh me, oh my, now I’m taking back my life.
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